Gentlemen:
There were two items of interest in my local paper recently (and, yes, they really were in the paper). Each of them provides gentlemen such as us with a lesson from which we can all learn.
1st Item
The Sheriff of Box Elder County, Utah, reported that a duck-hunter, who had climbed out of a boat and was attempting to move some decoys, was shot in the butt by his dog. The man had laid his gun down in the boat and his dog stepped on it. The gun went off and the man was hit with 27 pellets of birdshot in the backside from 10 feet. The Sheriff said that the man, who was treated at a local hospital, would have suffered more serious injuries had he not been wearing waders.
Lesson: When duck hunting, gentlemen, don’t trust your dog with a gun.
2nd Item
A woman was arrested in Otsego County, Michigan, who allegedly attacked her husband after she found him watching a movie that featured nude women. The report said that the woman became upset with her husband’s “viewing choice” and, after first striking him in the groin, went to the kitchen and grabbed a knife and threatened to cut off his genitals. This prompted the husband to call 9-1-1, which he did after his wife first took the phone and threw it at him. The woman was arrested for aggravated assault, domestic violence and phone tampering, and was jailed.
Lesson: When watching porn, gentlemen, don’t trust your wife with a butcher knife.
There were two items of interest in my local paper recently (and, yes, they really were in the paper). Each of them provides gentlemen such as us with a lesson from which we can all learn.
1st Item
The Sheriff of Box Elder County, Utah, reported that a duck-hunter, who had climbed out of a boat and was attempting to move some decoys, was shot in the butt by his dog. The man had laid his gun down in the boat and his dog stepped on it. The gun went off and the man was hit with 27 pellets of birdshot in the backside from 10 feet. The Sheriff said that the man, who was treated at a local hospital, would have suffered more serious injuries had he not been wearing waders.
Lesson: When duck hunting, gentlemen, don’t trust your dog with a gun.
2nd Item
A woman was arrested in Otsego County, Michigan, who allegedly attacked her husband after she found him watching a movie that featured nude women. The report said that the woman became upset with her husband’s “viewing choice” and, after first striking him in the groin, went to the kitchen and grabbed a knife and threatened to cut off his genitals. This prompted the husband to call 9-1-1, which he did after his wife first took the phone and threw it at him. The woman was arrested for aggravated assault, domestic violence and phone tampering, and was jailed.
Lesson: When watching porn, gentlemen, don’t trust your wife with a butcher knife.
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